A Knight In Dull Armor
by Sea Pony
Summary: Queen Ditzy Doo is in distress, her daughter have just been kidnaped by Vikings Caribous! Her knights are too incompetent to take care of a mission of this scale. Imagine her reluctance when her best way to save her daughter is a group of pirates knowed to hunt down the very Vikings that captured the princess.


The Knight In Dull Armor

``Captain?``

``Yeah? What do you want, don't you see I'm busy?`` The captain said before he began to drink his favorite rum.

``Are you sure you can save my muffin when your are drunk like this? I know my sources said you where the best Vikings hunter in the sea. But you don't seem to take this seriously.``

``For who do you take me? Of course I take this seriously, I will save the princess and all that. Now go relax with the rest of the gang I'm sure they will like you Queen Muffin.``

``My name is Ditzy Doo`` The wall eyed Queen replied annoyed.

``Whatever Queen Derpy as long as you pay us these pirates will go to tartarus and back me included.`` The captain turn his attention back on his bottle and saw that it's was empty. ``Why does these things are always empty?``

``Captain Pipsqueak! I think Featherweight founded the island we're searching!`` A orange Pegasus excitedly cried.

``Thank you miss Dodo.`` the captain thank the mare before he slowly trot to the smaller stallion and push him aside. It's took a little time to adjust the telescope, his eyes laid on a grey Unicorn mare looking similar to the Queen Muffin.

His only eye narrow when he saw who had captured the Princess Muffin. ``Of all the foes possible it's had to be the Vikings Caribous isn't it?`` Pipsqueak cursed under his breath the captain heard screaming in the distance and notice that the Vikings were preparing a cannon to shoot at them.

Pipsqueak took his blade in his and jumped in direction of the cannon ball. ``Is he insane!? He will kill himself!`` Queen Muffin cried, she was about to rush at the rescue but was stopped by Dodo.

``Don't worry he's the captain.`` She said confidently. Pipsqueak lift he's sword in the sky before he slash with all himself the rapidly flying black ball. The force of the impact on his sword sent the captain flying back on his ship. The cannon ball was divided in to pieces after the hit of the pirate and was sent sinking on each side of the ship.

``Queen Muffin.`` The captain said calmly. ``Do you still have one of those delicious muffins?`` The flabbergasted mare nod before giving to the insane captain a blueberry muffin. Pipsqueak smirk at the Vikings Caribous and threw the precious muffin in the hole of the cannon.

The one who was tasked to reload the weapon eyes widden before the cannon explode and send him plummeting on the ground. ``Yarr! Let's go to the attack my crew!`` The cannons of the ship quickly shout harpoons at the island in face of them, everypony excepted the Queen quickly slide on the ropes to attack the Caribous.

As soon as they set a hoof on the sand of the island the Caribous either took a defencive stance with their swords or point their large defence at the ponies. The leader was the one who had the largest defence of the group he quickly took the Princess Muffin with him before he looked at his Vikings a last time.

``When you are all finished with these _pirates_ I want their head on a pike!`` The crew cheer at their leader before they charge at the unimpressed pirates crew. Dodo was the first to react as she took saber with her two on each wings and one in her mouth.

She jumped in the air before slashing on all the Vikings madly, she landed at the other side of the crowd. The Caribous where to charge at her but they all noticed that all their swords and their defence had been cut into pieces.

Featherweight was the next to attack, he jump betweens the slash of the Caribous sword and then shot them in the face with his guns. Before they knew what happened the Vikings where all the ground with black faces groaning in pain.

Pipsqueak was about to make his move but all the Vikings began to panic and tried to leave with their boat as they saw that only two pirates had decimate more than half of them. Pipsqueak look at them with a displeased frown.

``Next time keep some Caribous for me, that was a total bust.`` he said looking at his crew.

``Help me!`` The scream of the Princess Muffin echoed in the entire island.

``The princess is calling for us, let's go!`` Pipsqueak now remembering his task gallop in direction where his worst enemy had left. Dodo and Featherweight where not far behind him. They arrived in front of the princess who was imprisoned in a cage which was supended above an active volcano.

_``Pipsqueak.``_

``Ahahahaha! You're too late pirates the Princess will fall in the lava and your mission will fail!`` The Caribou Vikings said with a victorious grin.

``Why are you doing this Jonathan?!`` Pipsqueak ask growling at the Vikings.

``Why? It's rather simple really, the magic of the little Princess here is constantly protecting Gallopa, which make really bad business for us. When the princess will disapear the kingdom will be at our mercy! All the cities to plunder and the ponies to enslave! This will be a great victory for the Caribous!``

_``Pipsqueak!``_

``Not if I have something to say about it!`` The tall stallion charge at the wooden bridge. Pipsqueak duck as Jonathan tried to shout him with a gun without sucess. The young pirates charge at the evil Caribou, while Jonathan draw his sword in his mouth.

The two blades collided and the entire bridge shook at the sheer power of the two foes. Jonathan was able to push away the captain with his defence. The stallion charge back at his nemesis and gave a powerful slash on his sword.

The Viking recoil at the hit and before he could notice it his hoof slip at the end of the bridge. ``Nooooo! Curse you Captain Pisqueak!`` Was the last thing Jonathan said before his body hit the lava.

Sastified by his victory attached a rope to the cage of the princess, his crew helped him to pull the cage to the bridge. The blonde princess hug the captain as soon as she got out of the cage. ``Thank you captain Pipsqueak!``

``It was my job Princess Muffin.`` The pirate said humbly, the princess giggle cutely at him.

``You can call me Dinky if you want captain.`` She said before rewarding Pipsqueak with a kiss on the lips

``PIPSQUEAK!``

``AHHH!`` The 'captain' snap out of his daydream, the great stallion of the sea was no more. Instead it was replaced with a small colt disguised as a pirate. The colt notice his best friend Dinky was looking at him with a small blush, he blink for a second before he saw that in his hooves was two dolls kissing each other. One of himself and the other of the filly in front of him.

Pipsqueak blush in embarassment before he hide the two dolls behind his back. ``It's not what it's look like!`` he said trying to use the oldest excuse in the book.

``Whatever you say Pip, but that not for that I'm here, I'm here because we will be late for Nighmare Night! The mayor will give her speech in five minutes!`` Pipsqueak noticed for the first time what was Dinky Doo wearing.

She had a very fancy looking pink dress, a small white crown adorned the top of her head and she had a small red ribbon attached to the base of her tail. Pipsqueak blush at the pretty costume before he regain his sense.

``So is Queen Muf- I mean your mom will come?`` Dinky nod eagerly.

``She's downstair waiting for us, come on!`` The small filly took the hoof of the smaller colt before she ran downstair. Pipsqueak was maybe not the pirate he wanted to be, but he still had the pretty princess in the end.

**Winter Note: **_This was supposed to be part of my main story A Good Share of Lifes as a bonus chapter, but I saw that the story stand of it's own so I made a one-shot out of it._


End file.
